If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
