ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
