Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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