Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
50% drunk capacity currently
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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