with your own penis?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
