Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
