He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
