Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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