Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I could make wine with my vomit
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
