Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Porn is love you can see.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
