we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
