i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the day after is always just damage control
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
soo... how was my night?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
