Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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