...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
