We're like a lot better than the average bears
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize