You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
