did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
