who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
