I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I love you.
Bad choice
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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