So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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