I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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