I am puke
Apparently you make a good broom.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
