Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
