But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
