i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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