I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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