is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you never un-have a 4some
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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