You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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