I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
