But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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