we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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