Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
