there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
