we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
