so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
