I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
