i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
