can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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