As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
