Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
