She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
