We're like a lot better than the average bears
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize