At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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