I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just had sex bonerless
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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