Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
