You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
