I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
