sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
