I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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