Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize