Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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