I skipped work to stalk him.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize