We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
