I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
