honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
