plz talk dirty to me
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
